Presently there is this growing trend in the church for scarcity of good husband and majority of single ladies are beginning to feel worried, and instead of trusting in God and his timing by waiting for their "Adam to wake up" — they are becoming distracted. It’s important that if you're "waiting" for your Adam to wake up, also ensure that your eyes are completely on Jesus and not crushing on every man at the church, streets or social media.
LET CHECK-OUT SOME SCENARIOS THAT OFTEN TRANSPIRE
1. "Ooh Girlllll, did you see that new man in that blue suit at church today? He is handsome. And did you see the way he looked at me when he went up for prayer? When i was singing at church and the Lord told me to look right and then he said... "That’s going to be your husband." And I was like ooooh myyyy gosh, it's about time, my Adam woke up!! Let me go make sure he knows that he's going to be my husband."
MY RESPONSE:
Hi sisterly, if it’s God that is leading you to that man — He will also ministered to him. You cannot manipulate your will over another person’s will and pray that you'll end up together. If it's really God, peace will follow and He will divinely set things up. If not, it's not Him and its witchcraft or manipulation.
The problem with the above is this: you may have your entire life planned out and he may have fallen in love with another lady who lives in another state. Then when he brings his fiancée to the church and she joins your small church group — you may engross in envy and mad at her because you think she took your man.
But, God wanted to use you in each other’s life but because you allowed jealousy, confusion and strife into your heart — you passed up a beautiful relationship all in the name of bitterness. And honestly, if God did tell you that "he's going to be your husband, then mind your business — even if it takes the brother a couple years to pursue you. God isn't a liar so if it's him, it will happen.
Time shall tell so in the interim, get your mind off him and focused unto Christ. When we redirect our focus, He will fill us up and we learn that we need Him, not another event.
One of my beloved sister said "sometimes ago when she and her fiancé was in the bookstore after church service, and a young lady asked her fiancé about where the "Sunday service recorded sermon" was located and he showed her — But she continued to ask and then he retorted, "it's right in front of you, are you blind?"
She replies: "I'm not blind, matter of fact; I like exactly what I see." And he said, "I'm sorry, but I'm engaged." She said, "You’re not married yet." Huh? Blank-stare. Please don't be like that foolish lady, be wise!
2. Girl!!! Have you seen so and so's facebook profile? He talks so much about Jesus. He knew how to treat and care about woman. He is an evangelist, God fearing and still single. I'm going to tag him on my post everyday so maybe he will notice me and reach out to me.
MY RESPONSE:
Hi, sisterly, well, your friend has been checking on the same evangelist too and she thinks the evangelist is the one for her too. Now, she feels uncomfortable sharing things with you so it's become a competition in her mind.
So, now — both of you are quietly chasing the evangelist attention and he doesn't even know either of you exist and you're slowly becoming bitter towards your friend as she reminds you of how much she likes the evangelist daily. Song of Solomon 8:4 "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right."
There's a time that the love will be right and some of us are trying to wake up somebody else's Adam. So, until the right time comes, we have to rest and keep our eyes on Jesus. Remember this: If Satan knows that you're thirsty for a man, he will send a man that your "old self" is attracted to but his heart won't be totally right with God.
In your heart, you'll know that you're settling. You will have zero peace about him but because you're lonely and tired of being single, you will continue to date him. You think in your mind that it’s better to be with someone than to be with no one and have to explain to others why you're single. But, if you continue in that mindset, you will only dig a hole so deep that you will eventually miss out on the man that God has for you.
A sister once affirmed "I use to keep a boyfriend prior to my husband arrival. I went from man to man, relationship to relationship because I liked the attention, to be loved and to be desired. But then, I kept hitting rock bottom in those relationships. And honestly, it wasn't always men — it was ME. I was a train wreck.
I tried to make those relationships idols and tag God's name to it. I tried to control it and I continued to come up empty. I didn't need a man, I needed a Savior and I kept confusing the two. I wanted to be loved, cared for, thought about and protected but I didn't realize that I was searching in all the wrong places.......! Then, one day I realized that I will never be truly happy unless I'm whole in Jesus. I needed Him.
So, I broke things off with my then boyfriend. I told him that I needed space and time to think because I'm confident that I was only ruining his life with my up and down confusion. I was single for a year and then I met my now husband. One of the first questions my now husband asked me was "Do you have a boyfriend?"
(Let Me Chip-in) I strongly believe if this beloved sister still maintains her boyfriend, her present husband won't take her serious because a godly man with purpose doesn't have time for a woman with a bunch of baggage and a boyfriend. How do you expect the Holy Spirit to flow through that confusion?
3. There's like no men at my church, so I need to go after the ones that are there and get one before he's taken.
MY RESPONSE:
Hi, sisterly, do you know that God can import a man? Yes, a sister once affirm that she pray and asked the Lord to import her husband from overseas because she was tired of making choice/selective. She told God that He's going to have to "DROP" her husband from the sky and he literally did. "Haha" Isn't it funny how God has such a sense of humor?
THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE
You may think that getting into a marital relationship will fill your many voids but honestly, you will wake up one day and your bed may be filled with a husband and children but you still feel empty. You then blame your husband for not making you happy and nag him until your eyes got swollen but it's not even him.
You will tell him that he needs to work more hours, get you new dress; help more around the house chores or whatever else. But, it's not him. IT IS YOU! True joy comes from Jesus Christ and no human can ever fill that void. You have an assignment on this earth and that is to be a helper to your husband and to lead your children to Jesus.
Humans are great people but terrible gods and you ought to understand that marriage is a ministry of serving each other. If you get into marital relationship with the mindset that someone is going to solve all of your problems, you might behold the opposite and becomes disappointed because your expectations were backfire!
And you will become frustrated in such situation because you won't be content. I mean, you just have to be honest with yourself, by going to the Lord and tell Him that you're discontent, mad, bitter or whatever else! — Because the Lord always love to work with an honest woman.
4. You meet a married brother at church and you hear "He's going to be your husband" and you get so excited and gritty!
MY RESPONSE:
Wait, That's not going to be your husband or is he going to leave his wife for you? Why would you ever, ever want to even start a relationship off with the foundation of adultery? And if he is dumb enough to leave his wife for you, he will most likely leave you for another after a few years of marriage.
And if you are married and you're reading this update — whatever you're searching for outside of your marriage can only be find within your marriage. You want excitement again? Please package your fatty shape, get up and be romantic, be exciting, pray for the spark to come back into your marriage and stop thinking that some other man can satisfy you.
5. "I'm going to another church where I can get noticed and so my husband can find me"
MY RESPONSE:
Hi sisterly, there's 7-8 billion people on this Earth and if God wants you to meet someone, you will meet them and connect with them based on his timing and not your timing. A sister confessed that she and her husband were in same church and walked by each other for 3 years.
They were even in the same meetings, sitting just a few feet away from one another. But, they didn't connect until 3 years later because they were both not ready.
She continues….while in my singleness I learned that if I cannot trust God for my spouse, then how can I trust Him for anything else? I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I want to get marry and have kids one day. But i have to stop pondering about it because I believe that the Lord will put the desire in my heart for a family.
So, since he will put that desire in my heart, he is going to bring it to pass-- not ME. So the best act is to eschew the thought of "He is going to be my husband" mentality.
(Let Me Chip-in) As woman you don't need to chase or eye any man, but instead endeavor to chase down Christ. And one day you will thank God that such a "Man wasn't your husband" because God can see what you can't see!
God’s always protects you more than you'll ever know and when he does introduce you to his best for your life, you will be thankful that it didn't work out with anybody else. So, get back to the heart of worship and focus your sight unto Jesus and not man
