Marriage is not a gamble; it is a spiritual juice ordain by God and freely given unto everyone to enjoy. I pray that God will bestow the grace upon us and may we never suck form the vine of a contentious spouse in Jesus name. Some months ago while discussing with a brother about marriage issues; though he was aware of my Christianity up-field and believes in the issue of female relationship or dating, which usually result into
immoral sexual relationship.
He said “Brother Evangelist; I have told you several times to find a young lady, whom you can date, mingle and study; you need to know more about women because they are unpredictable” I replied and said; My Big brother, you knew I can’t accept such advice, even before I got convicted to Christ,
I didn’t entangle or defile myself with any girl friends or immoral relationship because of fear of God; and do you expect me to lure into such immoral act that will definitely yield into lustfulness and immoralities now that am already born again?
He said, Yes I knew, but am talking about marriage preparation, you need to approach someone and from there you start propelling into marriage. I replied and said; yes, brother, I understand your point but remember; Marriage Preparation is not attained by indulging in casual relationship and neither accomplished by unwrapping what you have not yet brought.
However, I will rather seek and wait after God’s Perfect Will, although it might not be mine choice. Therefore, I did rather wait for God's decision, rather sentencing myself into life frustration imprisonment; in the name of marriage.
Nevertheless, while waiting for God’s Perfect Will in marriage; I discovered there are some basic principles and tools which every awaiting singles brother and sister ought equipped and nurture themselves. That tool is called PREPARATION.
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE.
A married man was traveling in an aircraft and he was wearing his wedding ring on a wrong finger. And someone noticed and pointed his attention saying sir; you have your wedding ring on a wrong finger. The man said "Don't worry, it’s because i married a wrong woman" It isn’t because he married a wrong woman, it’s because he didn't PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE.
The marriage you don't Prepare "FOR" will confused you, when you get there. It is preparation that determines your experience. People take time to prepare for everything. Some spent seven years in the university studying about rat and lizards. And when it comes to marriage, they think they don't have to do anything. All they need to do is to just find a partner, just match to the alter and be joined together "It is your preparation that determine your experience"
You don't prepare "IN" marriage; You prepare "FOR" marriage. You don't learn how to shot gun in the battle front; but rather you learn before the battle begins. As you make your bed, so you lay on it. There is no accidental fulfillment in marriage. If you are going to enjoy fulfillment in marriage; there is no better time to begin to prepare than now that you are SINGLE.
I like to congratulate you; because you are single and i like you to celebrate your season as a single. Been a single isn't a disadvantage. Been a single isn't a SIN. You're not under a curse because you are single. Many don't understand what it means to be a single, so they are in a hurry to get-out of the single stage and get married.
Life is in phases and men are in sizes. Every phase in life prepare you for the next one and been a single is a necessary phase in life that should prepare you for marriage. You're not under a curse because you are single. It’s not a sin to be single. It's a necessary phase you must pass through in the process of life.
And i have good news for you; it’s better to be a single believing God to be married; then be married and praying to become a single. So, take time to enjoy yourself as a single; Celebrate yourself been a single. There are so many things you can do as a single than a married person. Your time as a single is a very unique of your life that God has given to you; and it's primarily for the purpose of PREPARATION.
Been a single should prepare you for marriage: don't forget. You don't prepare "IN" marriage. You prepare "FOR" marriage. So many people are having some
nasty experiences in marriage today; even Christian’s couples. Not because there is anything wrong with their partner but because they never took time to prepare themselves.
They thought marriage was all about just finding a partner. If i can just find a right partner i mean; that is it. Tall rich and Handsome, Holy Ghost filled and loaded with Dollar and pounds. But that is not all about marriage. Every successful and fulfilling marriage is a product of adequate preparation.
And the best time to begin preparing is NOW. Someone might say “I haven’t even plan of getting marry until 7 years to come. That is more reason why you need to begin to prepare. If only you knew how much you need to prepare; you will do everything within you to prepare NOW. Don't forget; you don't prepare IN marriage; you prepare FOR marriage.
If you wait until you married to begin to prepare it will be too late. This is the best time to prepare and get ready. Some many people thought all they need is to find partner and walk straight to alter and get married. While some had gotten married like that; only to wake-up after some few days, The woman look at the man and say "I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE LIKE THIS" then the man look at the woman and said "AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU ARE THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME IN LIFE"
All because they never took time to prepare. When some people say they are preparing for marriage; they are actually preparing for a WEDDING. There are different between wedding and marriage. The day after wedding is called MARRIAGE while wedding is just a matter of few hours. No matter the elaborates of the wedding; no matter how much you were able to share to the city; After some times, all the wedding guest will bid you Bye-bye, Happy marriage life and they go home. Then the real business of marriage begins.
Whatever is your preparation will begin to speak. I have meet number of people getting ready for marriage and i asked them, "HOW PREPARE ARE YOU? They say, well we have just brought suit for the man and the wedding gown for the woman and also brought some bags of rice. They are blinded by wedding.
WEDDING IS AN INITIATION INTO MARRIAGE.
Wedding is not marriage; don't mistake wedding for marriage. I once meet a lady that was talking so much about her wedding. And she told me " Pastor, As a matter of fact, am not going to use a car on my wedding day, Am going to use a white horse, So that i will be on a white horse holding an umbrella” And i also know that Lady doesn't know how to cook.
The elaborateness of your wedding has nothing whatsoever to do with the success of your marriage. The success of you marriage is drives from HOW PREPARE YOU ARE BEFORE MARRIAGE. You don't learn how to shot gun in the battle field; you learnt it before the battle begins, otherwise you become a victim. God has privilege you to be a single so that you can have adequate time to prepare yourself.
As a matter of fact; the reason why it looks like there is delay to people prayer answer for life partner is because GOD HAS WEIGHT THEM IN A BALANCE AND DISCOVER THEY ARE NOT PREPARE. God has given them enough time to prepare and they are crying and praying; "I don't know when the life partner will come" A wise man says; "when a preparation meet with an opportunity it will leads to success" there is no accidental success in marriage. Every marriage that is succeeding toady is adequately prepared for.
HOW TO PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE
1. Acquire Knowledge: Go for knowledge. When it comes to marriage, Jesus suggested in READING as the number one thing to do to enjoy success in marriage. Matthew 19:3-4 " The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, "have ye not read", that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female"
The Lord expected then to have read. He listens to their question and it was a very stupid question. Then Jesus concluded that this people have not read. If they have ready they wouldn't be asking such a stupid question. Is it lawful to but away a wife for every cause and Jesus say, why are you asking such a stupid question? HAVE YOU NOT READ?
So, Jesus number one prescription for success in marriage is READING. That is why; as a genuine born again christian. Before getting married, you are obligated to read at least 15 books in marriage. If you knew how much you need to prepare, then you will know that those 15 books are nothing. Marriage is a journey that you haven't traveled before.
You need to connect with people that has passed same road, to know how to go through it successfully. What you don't know, you will suffer for it. I have meant a number of people intending to get married and i asked them; HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU READ IN MARRIAGE. Mostly, 75% of them haven't read single book in marriage.
Jesus said; have you not read? Why are you asking such a stupid question? Some are getting into marriage without even knowing what marriage is all about. They don't know what they are getting into. All they knew is that everyone around them is getting married; so they also must get married. Some are set to get into marriage because their parents are putting pressure on them.
Some are set into marriage because they just graduate from the university; so the next thing is to get married. It doesn’t matter who comes, Born-again or none, it doesn’t matter. If we get married God will take control. When you read and study some materials about marriage then you will find out what marriage is all about and what you are getting into. God original intention for marriage can be seen in; Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him"
Lack of this original intention has turned so many marriages into CIVIL WAR. It isn't good for a man to be alone, there for i will make him a suitable helper to meet his needs. So marriage is all about meeting needs. Marriage isn't about taking advantage or suppressing one another. I will make him a helper to meet his needs.
There are some certain basic needs in a man's life they he can't meet by himself. And there are some certain basic needs in woman's life that she can't meet by herself. So, God created a marriage platform; for the man to meet the woman needs and the woman to meet the man needs. That is all marriage is all about.
When you read, you will know and understand the difference between male and female gender differences. The reason why male behaves the way they behave and reason why female behaves the way they behave.
Some married couples who has gone for counseling and when they began to narrate their problem. You will discover that the thing the man was complaining about the woman was actually the reason why God put her there in the marriage. For instant; the man complain that the woman talk too-much; that is why you are there to listen to her.
Likewise the woman complaining that the man is always looking for attention; that is why you are there. WOMEN ARE CREATED WITH VERBAL POWER; THERE POWER IS INSIDE THEIR MOUTH. THEY CAN TALK FOR 24 HOURS.
It is not offence; it is a virtue. God created them like that, If you are privileged to have a little children, a boy and a girl. While they are very small; you will notice that the girl mouth is sharper than that of the boy. When they grow-up it doesn't live them, the thing is still with them.
You know; when you are talking and no one is listening, you become frustrated. So, because the woman must talk and someone must listen to her, God created the man and put the man inside the marriage, so whenever the woman is talking the man can listen; To be Continue In Second Series.
